Help writing a press release

[bitesoftwarecom]

Hi

I have been looking through the 'press releases' section of this forum and it's a good idea to have a place dedicated for such things here, and also it gives some of us less experienced members an idea of what constitutes a press release.

I am currently working on my own and rather than plant it in the 'press releases' section and have everyone find faults in it I thought I would post a sample here. Since joining I have been contacted by various 'PR agencies' via PM so I would prefer if would contact via this actual thread.

'Every 99th order free at iBuyFree!'

iBuyFree is an online shopping directory listing all kinds of internet retailers from the big trusted brands to home-grown British-based businesses.

The big difference in using iBuyFree is that 99th every order made via the site will be reimbursed to you. There are no registration requirements, fees or downloads involved.

iBuyFree is committed to helping online shoppers save money whilst still buying from their favourite stores and introducing an extra element of fun into the process. Now there is no doubt that the online shopping really will save you money!

http://www.ibuyfree.co.uk

What do you think? I would love to hear your advice on how to improve this and also who something like this should be submitted to. I have a shortlist of a few websites I would like to contact but it all depends on whether they would accept something like this.

BTW - If you are a PR agency and want my business then it would be good if you already have a plan and tell me what it is - eg. you will submit to xyz for £x pounds. Some references would also be welcomed.

[directmarketingadvice]

What do you think?

Firstly, it's not clear whether it's:

(a) Every 99th order on your site (which I suspect it is)

or

(b) Every 99th order a person places (which is how it read literally: "99th every order made via the site will be reimbursed to you" - "to you")

Secondly, it reads far more like an ad than a press release, so I suspect you wouldn't do well with it.

Finally, if you're looking for a PR on this forum, you could try 10Yetis or Richard Glynn.

Hope this helps,

Steve

[bitesoftwarecom]

Thanks for that - by the way its b) every 99th order made through the site is free...

I think the press release does seem like an ad which is why I definitely need help. If any of you guys can get in touch and advise how you can help it would be much appreciated and definitely help me decide whose service to use.

[directmarketingadvice]

Thanks for that - by the way its b) every 99th order made through the site is free...

You mean you pay for 98 orders and then you get the 99th free?

Steve

[jameswales]

HI There

The basic idea of your press release looks good. It does however need to be re-written to focus more on the news angle rather than the advertising angle. Remember that news editors can sniff out an advert from a mile away.

We'd be happy to re-write it and distribute it for you for our normal fee of £25. Our press releases have much success, we're only this cheap because our small business PR company is something we do aside from our regular jobs to raise money for trips away! We don't take money upfront, you only pay after we have distributed the release.

We'd target your local media, as well as relevant trade and consumer publications/websites. We use standard PR contacts databases so have access to the 'real' guys. One example I use is 2 weeks ago I wrote a press release about a golf club and managed to submit it to over 130 'golf journalists' - I didn't even know they existed!

PM me for more info, I have examples of previous work, plus a PDF brochure of our services that I can send you. References also available.

Thanks,
James. www.j2communications.co.uk

[bitesoftwarecom]

You mean you pay for 98 orders and then you get the 99th free?

Steve

Sorry, I see I'm not explaining it clearly enough. Any user can use the site and click through to a different store. You can then buy something and enter your reference number and email. If you are the 99th order since the last winner, you also win - the value of your order is then reimbursed by us.

If you would like, please visit http://www.ibuyfree.co.uk/learnmore.php#content as it should explain this more. If it doesn't please advise.

Thanks

[FireFleur]

Oh orange font, big letters, and a sort of offer going on. It is an ad.

The trick with PR and well there are many, is to sell a story, journalists need stories, they don't need ads they sell space for those :)

So, drop your font, blacken you characters, and think of a story people would be interested in reading.

PR is hard to do, it centres around developing relationship, that is top end PR, so you have to time everything correctly for all actors involved. And you have to realise that the world does not revolve around your company, your company merely swims with others.

And you do not control PR, so you cannot make an offer in it :), the journalist will want to adapt the story, and who wants to work out the ins and outs of your offer.

There are some good PR books around, have a read.

[GTFC]

Hiya,

I'm new on this site, but hopefully can add something useful too! From my experience as a writer, the key thing is to 'know your audience'. Unless you know who they are, what they are thinking and why what you're telling them might be of interest, it's very easy to miscommunicate a message. PR is doubly difficult as you have to get past one (very tough) audience - the editors - before you get to the other, the potential customer. But it can be done! Just make sure you're clear in your own head about who you are talking to before you start.

Cheers,

Gill

[printinglocal]

to me, it sounds too much like a pyramid scheme, which would be difficult to get editors to add it to there publication.

[Michelle Carvill]

Hi there
I wrote a piece in my blog a few weeks ago titled 'Practicing Positive PR' - it focuses on putting a PR brief together - as well as if you decide to go it alone - how to successfully craft your own Press Release - may be worth a look...
http://www.carvillonmarketing.com/?p=157
Best wishes
Michelle

[bitesoftwarecom]

to me, it sounds too much like a pyramid scheme, which would be difficult to get editors to add it to there publication.

Thanks for all replies. I was a bit puzzled as to how it sounds like a pyramid scheme? I am considering outsourcing the PR to some of the good people on this site and I'll reply back with feedback.

[LowcostPR]

Hi there

Right, just thought I'd give my two cents on your work. As you may have guessed, it is basically an advert in the guise of a press release, something that really hacks of Journalists.

However, thankfully the good folk on this forum can help before it goes out. Firstly, you need to have a "news angle". A promotional offer is not a "news angle", it is an "advert angle". If you have any recent accolades like the millionth order (or something to that effect) or you are hiring local staff in a recession and want to shout about it, then this is a really good start.

Other than that, a good one is the "problem-solution". It would go along the line of "there is this problem experienced by some people, these are the stats to support it, and here is the solution". This way it gives the paper something interesting for the readers to get into so he won't mind giving you the free publicity.

Whereas I don't agree that your promotional offer is a pyramid scheme, it is too "WIN FREE SAVE" to be a news release, so I'd save this for any traditional advertising you are doing.

Give us a shout if you are having any more difficulties with it.

Thanks

Max

[bitesoftwarecom]

Thanks for that LowCost - good advice.

Concentrating on 'problem-solution' is a very good idea. I'll try to write something which relates to my target market and satisfies one of their needs.