How to make me laugh when you phone me

[Pebble Communications]

1) Tell me that you don't have any money to pay for my services yet but you will pay once you become established. (yes, I'm a charity)

2) Tell me that working for free on your PR will be good for my 'portfolio' as your (usually very boring and unoriginal) start-up company will soon be a big brand name and look good on my client list. (who are you kidding)

3) Ask me to tell you exactly what I would do on your PR so that you can go and do it yourself.(you guessed, I have a private income and just do this for fun)

4) Tell me that your pixel advertising site is going to be as big as milliondollarhomepage but it's not a copy of milliondollarhomepage, it's completely different...and alex made that a success by using a PR company didn't he? (Yes but that was a once-only opportunity and he took it)

5) want me to issue an utterly libellous slagging-off press release against a major corporation that is suing you for not paying your bills (I don't wish to join you in the dock, but thanks for the invitation)

What do you get asked to do that makes you laugh?

[Coding Monkey]

I've never had anyone say they've got no money, yet almost everyone (until lately, maybe word has got around) who phone's up say they don't have much money. Always a great way to start a conversation.

Last week I had a #3 scenario. The company basically wanted the entire site design, information on, SEO tips, store design and what we'd do and so forth, purely as a brief.

But, the all time worst one ever, was some guy who was telling me about how much debt his company was in, and how he couldn't afford to pay them back.....whilst discussing wanting a website with me. I'd never met him before, yet he felt it necessary to tell me his entire life story, and based on what he told me, I hope he's currently in jail.

[crus]

Would I get a laugh if said,

"so what do you actually do?"

D

[www.sitepal.co.uk]

I've never had anyone say they've got no money, yet almost everyone (until lately, maybe word has got around) who phone's up say they don't have much money. Always a great way to start a conversation.
.

Web designers have a tough time

My friend spends hours designing sites to wait months for payment

Sometimes he never gets anything and shuts sites down

[Ozzy]

I get senarios similar to #2 on a regular basis, who want to haggle over £35 to register their company. I then wonder how successful exactly there company is going to be when arguing over a few pound at the beginning of their company's life :)

If you can't afford to start a company then don't start it, you'll have much bigger expenses when you get going that my charges!

Unfortunately so many people go into business without researching and budgeting correctly, only to find their out of business before their first year is over. Didn't that bank manager on Corrie say, 45% of businesses don't last the first 12 months?

[fastfences]

Unfortunately so many people go into business without researching and budgeting correctly, only to find their out of business before their first year is over. Didn't that bank manager on Corrie say, 45% of businesses don't last the first 12 months?

Phew! I've made it!!
N

[SillyJokes]

I laugh when someone who wants to buy twenty items that total £25 ask for a discount for quantity.

They seem genuinely astonished to be told no.

Number two is "Could I use one of your fake side burns as a template to trim my own?" no, really this was a genuine call.

Number three: Didtsy sounding woman from large PR company wanting the price of 500, 1000 and 5000 chattering teeth plus a free sample. You know all they are doing is putting together something for their client and the chances of getting the business are virtually nil. If they are truly interested they will buy a sample.

One I find hard to decide about is emails from members of the armed forces in Iraq asking for stuff for free. Half of me thinks they must be having a pretty rubbish time and the other half thinks, they are being paid, I didn't ask them to go and there are a hundred charities for every one begging squaddy asking me for free stuff who could put it to better use.

[clairemackaness]

Getting me to draw some paintings in situ as an example, just so you can go off and use it to show your shopfitters how you want your shop.

Yes I fell for this from a recent post on here! Not saying who it was though.

[cjd]

"I am Indian call centre want sell your telephon.

I have brothers want you have $. You give me network I make you money. We good friends make much money.

You answer quickly I regard you seriously.

compliments"

[confused]

I got a call at about 11pm one night from a home user with pc problems, I said if it was REALLY urgent I'd go out to it but there would be a higher than normal call out due to the time, he then wanted me to talk him through it on the phone and got rather annoyed when I wouldnt and hung up on me! I didnt laugh as such, just started at my phone in disbelief