New Promotion method - Please comment/review

[Magsite]

Hi All

I've just put together this ebook I'd like you to look at and comment if you think It will help me find new business partners.

http://www.betterchances.co.uk/keyring.pdf

Thanks

Lisa

[fastfences]

Hi Lisa.
That may be a winner for you!

Grammar: Ist sentence 'companies' is plural. You should be using 'company's' which is the posessive form.

'Taxi's is the posessive form. You should be using 'taxis' which is plural.

Can you give the images a 'betterchance' of being viewed clearly?
Cheers, Nigel

[mumper]

Hi Lisa, PMd you.

[confused]

Hi,

One thing I would change is the images, I think if you had better quality images you'd be on to a winner.

[jklondon]

agree with the above - esp better images - also stick to one typeface!

[directmarketingadvice]

I've a few comments/questions:

(1) Why is this an "ebook"? It's just one page. It loks like a salesletter/flyer.

(2) Who is the market for this and how is it going to be delivered?

(3) Why are the pictures of the ads the size they are? Is this lifesize? If so, you need to get better resolution on the pics as the taxi pic has unreadable text on it.

(4) You start by asking a question but, unless you've done some pre-selling, it's a question you've not given the reader a reason to answer in your favour.

Before you ask the question, you've got to explain the benefits/results of having their ads on a key-ring.

(5) Personally, I'd drop your logo from the top of the page as it's not the lottery you're selling here.

(6) You've quoted prices at the bottom, you should indicate either (a) how much you're putting in yourself to subsidise it or (b) what it would cost normally to buy these (I know you said "half the price", but you should show numbers for this).

(7) Do people in the UK use the word "keepsakes"? I don't think I've ever heard it in the real world.

Hope this helps.

Steve

[Magsite]

I've a few comments/questions:

(1) Why is this an "ebook"? It's just one page. It loks like a salesletter/flyer.

(2) Who is the market for this and how is it going to be delivered?

(3) Why are the pictures of the ads the size they are? Is this lifesize? If so, you need to get better resolution on the pics as the taxi pic has unreadable text on it.

(4) You start by asking a question but, unless you've done some pre-selling, it's a question you've not given the reader a reason to answer in your favour.

Before you ask the question, you've got to explain the benefits/results of having their ads on a key-ring.

(5) Personally, I'd drop your logo from the top of the page as it's not the lottery you're selling here.

(6) You've quoted prices at the bottom, you should indicate either (a) how much you're putting in yourself to subsidise it or (b) what it would cost normally to buy these (I know you said "half the price", but you should show numbers for this).

(7) Do people in the UK use the word "keepsakes"? I don't think I've ever heard it in the real world.

Hope this helps.

Steve

Hi Steve

1) I'm think it looks better as a PDF rather than a webpage.
2) Any company's that want to use keyrings & bottle openers for promotion
3) I've have requested true proof quality pics are provided, just waiting.
4) Point taken - will look again!
5) Will do!
6) Once I get figures I will add them
7) Can you think of an alternative???

I've been asked why I posted this ebook on here before it was finished, well simple!

How much feedback have I received above and how much when implemented will the book improve. LOADS

Thanks everyone!

Lisa

[fastfences]

Hi Lisa,
Keepsakes = mementos

Cheers, Nigel

[directmarketingadvice]

Hi Lisa

2) Any company's that want to use keyrings & bottle openers for promotion

Does this mean you're going after businesses who are already interested in using these items (ie, they are already pre-sold on the idea, now you're just trying to persuade them that they should do it with you)?

If so, how are you planning to deliver this message to them?

Or, do you really mean "any companies who could be interested in the idea of using keyrings & bottle openers for promotion"

ie they have to be sold on the idea and then sold on the benefits of doing it your way?

As you can see, these are two different tasks and your sales pitch is going to depend on where your clients are in the buying process when they see your message.

If it's the former and they're looking for a way to do it, you could start with something like:

"If you'd like to advertise your business on keyrings or bottle openers, I can help you do this at only half the usual price."

Hope this helps

Steve

[Magsite]

Hi Steve

Thanks for your feedback.

I have altered the pdf file once again following the advice above.

I have now confirmed prices which are also shown.


Anyone interested just let me know.

http://www.betterchances.co.uk/keyring.pdf

Best regards

Lisa

[MorethanWords]

Whatever it is about, I'd definitely take up whatever Mumper has offered. It sooo needs proofing!!

It also is a bit long for a sales letter or short for an ebook.

[fastfences]

hi Lise,
What's the go with 'Eagle' cars in text, but then showing 'Bridge' in the graphic? And you didn't make the change to Taxis. Does my excellent help go unoticed? :wink:
Cheers, Nigel

[Magsite]

Oops - Latest upload is done! LOL

Cheers Nige

Lisa

[TheFreePlayBayinc.]

Hi Lisa,

Have you been to vmd? (http://www.vwdforum.com) They have a full e-book which is quite good, but you'll have to share the links throughout the e-book between two other guys because they created it. Not a bad deal.

Peter Moore also has a nice e-book and if you visit his site you can download it and get some ideas from that as well.