Fish puns

[Coding Monkey]

During the early hours of this morning, several members engaged in what might change the course of history of UKBF. Yes, fish puns were involved for 3 pages of a thread until nearly 2am. Unfortunately, because of the nature of the thread, it was deleted. Yet now you have another opportunity to get in involved and show your dedication to the almighty fish.

So, dive in and have a whale of a time.

[Jayne]

Roy should be joining in this thread, he's been fishing for ideas off the net for ages :lol:

Jayne

[Coding Monkey]

You batter believe it!

[MinuWeb]

cod off :D

Didn't realise the thread had been deleted, thought marlinks stopped working

[Jayne]

Sadly the thread was deep fried, we had cod all to do with that, our fishy humour went down like an old trout :lol:

Jayne

[gordonthegofor]

Do you think this is the right PLAICE to discus this

[Jayne]

Maybe not, but we are here to ray :lol:

Jayne

[MarkPearson]

Something fishy is going on around this plaice

All this talk of fish is getting a dab silly!

Who is going to be the heart and sole of the new years party tonight? and who is going to flounder in the corner all night.

The party I am going to is a house party, in a very small house, I think we will all be squeezed in like sardines.

I am starting my night with some heavy spirits to warm the my cockles!

But I am dreading the thought of all that booze tonight as my mouth will be like a dogfish tomorrow and my leg mussels will be aching me with all that dancing!

I think thats enough from me.... lol

[Coding Monkey]

I hope no one poaches this thread. It's truly eelspirational.

[creacom]

Cod almighty !!

We are back in business !!! Cant believe this one got reeled in last night. I mean the scale off the humour was wonderful !

':lol:'

[Jayne]

Ever worse if they come trouting for business :lol:

Jayne

[creacom]

I am laughing so much I am problems whiting !!

[Coding Monkey]

Well, you can't pleasea everyone

[Coding Monkey]

I hope you're not steaming. I don't want you to croaker through laughing too much.

[creacom]

Dont worry I am a Dabs hand at CPR !

':lol:'

[Jayne]

Don't be shelfish Jacqui and tell all us small fry how to do it too :lol:

Jayne

[Coding Monkey]

Hopefully this thread stays clean and isn't deleted. We don't want any wannabe Klu Klux Clam members turning up and causing a wave of controversy

[creacom]

I cant. My mussels have haddock enough for oneday !

[Jayne]

Now that would be a fishing shame :lol:

Jayne

[creacom]

A reel shame

[Jayne]

Mind you, thy'll have to catch us first :lol:

Jayne

[MarkPearson]

I dont mean to 'Carp' on, but this thread is very funny and we all must be pretty board today.

This thread is the 'Oyster' in the time out section.

I am happy that all that icy weather has gone or I would have to 'Skate' my way to the party tonight!

I am waiting for someone to throw in a 'Red herring' to divert the conversation from fish puns.

Time for me to 'Perch' my bum at my desk and do some work.

I thought I 'Smelt' a 'Shark' yesterday when harryfrank1981 was caught with a double ID!

[Jayne]

I'd like to point out, this is not a thread for the member fish, but fun fish puns for all fun fish punners across the globe :lol:

It's fun fish frivolity :lol:

So join the net with us slack sardines, who are not drinking alcohol honest :lol:

Jayne

[Rob Holmes]

It's fun fish frivolity :lol:

Yea no getting crabby

:D

Rob

[Coding Monkey]

Mark certainly knows how to go over board with his puns. They're simply fintastic!

[bwglaw]

What a kettle of wet fish you all are! ;)

[Jayne]

Rob, i'm not getting crabby, i'm having a whale of a time...still on holiday, been stuck in all week and am bored out of my scales.

Jayne :lol:

[fastfences]

You guys are all sick! :twisted:

This is simply the most enormous scale of idiocracy I am yet to sea.

Cheers, Nigel

[Coding Monkey]

Nigel, that's outraygeous

[creospace]

Pollocks!

[Tin]

Phew! glad to see 'fishy' has gone... he was really out of 'plaice' here :oops:
Sorry :-)

Ray

Have a great New Year everyone

[Jayne]

Phew! glad to see 'fishy' has gone... he was really out of 'plaice' here :oops:
Sorry :-)

Ray

Have a great New Year everyone


Oh you are a little Ray of sunshine :lol:

[creacom]

We will really have to stop carping on about fish at some point !!

I hold my hands up and admit I started it all yesterday by saying there was something fishy about Harry/Fish/Bob/Matildas offer !

Eel never live this one down !!

':lol:'

[Jayne]

Or Eel will freeze over first :lol:

Jayne

[Jayne]

How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?


At least 10, the light bulb would have been that big and weighed that much, you'd need that many to hold it :lol:

Jayne

[Hayles]

ohhh, I catch your drift now Jayne :lol:

[bwglaw]

Th best business for 'fishy' would be to set up a fishmongers ;)... the slippery eel!

[creospace]

I can't fathom out why it's so clammy in here

[DuaneJackson]

Look guys, this isn't the plaice for fish related humour. I don't try and say it's ok becuause it's new year. It wont kelp, I wasn't prawn yesterday. I'm getting a bad haddock from having the read this thread. Posting to pointless thread is a bad halibut. This isn't manta be funny, I don't want to have a roe about it.

I'm going to listen to some music and drink reef. So don't expect me to chip in.

We'll start with Sea eeled with a kiss and then Sole Train. I love that tuna.
If you wan't something better to do then theres a good film on tonight with Pike Lee and Skate Moss in it.

If this thread was about mammals then I'd give it my seal of approval.

[Jayne]

Are you having a wave of hot flushes Gary :lol:

Jayne

[Admiral Collections]

All this fishy talk has knocked me off my perch

However is it just me or is there a stench?


Nic :wink:

[Jayne]

lol..Duane, best post so far, you are really tuna'd in :lol:

Jayne

[creacom]

Ohhh Jayne, Ive been trying to think of a way to use tuna'd in for ages !

You are really shellfish !

':lol:'

[Tin]

How about famous celebs?

Like.....

Clint Eastwood in the film Outlaw Josey Whales
Weather man extrordinaire Michael Fish
Scottish MP Alex Salmond
Arthur Daley (famous loan shark)
Winning Lines quiz host Fillet Schofield (ok, stetching it a bit here)


:( I should have better things to do than read here

Ray

[Coding Monkey]

Stephen Fry
Joanna Lumsea
Cod Stewart

[Tin]

Geez! Tom, that was quick. It took me carp 'n' hour to think mine up. :-)

[creacom]

What about the greatest power of them all :

The almight Cod

':lol:'

Jacqui

[Coding Monkey]

Don't worry about it, Tin. Cod just have me a more passionate sole than many

[fastfences]

For many years I've had a wish,
to live my life as a fish,
to slither about with an eel,
oh, how sensuous that would feel.

In shallow tide or ocean deep,
whilst wide awake or passive sleep,
my dream's to go to gambling school,
where I'll make money and scoop the pool.

800 thousand, would that be good?
My brother's done it, he said he would!
So now with you I'd like to share,
Come and join me, if you'll dare.

Please, oh please, don't swim away,
we'll make money every day.
If this were true, oh how I wish,
To believe the promise of a fish :wink:
Cheers, Nigel

[Admiral Collections]

Cod Rock

Judie Tench

Pike Lee

Pike Milligan


On your Knees Mac

Nic :wink:

[Jayne]

Loved the poem Nigel :lol:

Jayne

[Coding Monkey]

There is no cod back to Nigel's post. It's absolelutely fintastic.

[Tin]

Nige... you're in the wrong job mate or did you pinch that from somewhere? Either way, you're a clever cod!

Ray

[Jayne]

Nigel is a poem expert, he's done some lovely ones :D

Jayne

[DuaneJackson]

Un eouf already! omletting you get away with this becuase I know you'll get bored of fish and move on to eggs.
Have an eggstra special evening all, I'll chick this thread tomorrow. Cracking stuff.

[fastfences]

Nige... you're in the wrong job mate or did you pinch that from somewhere?
Ray

Pinch it? How would one ever fluke a ditty so relevant? No, I'm just a word meister :wink:
Ta 4 the compliment :wink:
Cheers, Nigel

[Jayne]

Catch you later egg head :lol:

You can read the yolks tomorrow :lol:

Jayne

[Asteeleleith]

have u all gone raying, codding, sharking, eelsane? lol

Al

[Jayne]

Yes we're all as slack as kippers :lol:

[Urban Space]

Is it just me who thinks this is getting a bit repetitive? :lol:

Can't think up a fish pun :( lol!

Liam

[fastfences]

Is it just me who thinks this is getting a bit repetitive? :lol:
Liam

Maybe. Perhaps you're a 'fish out of water' on this thread :wink:
Cheers, Nigel

[Cornish Steve]

I missed this thread because I was out fishing all day. My son asked how to stop the fish from smelling. I suggested he cut off their noses.

[fastfences]

Goodness me Steve. I bet you floundered around trying to think that up! You'd better pike up your act :wink:
Cheers, Nigel

[creacom]

Whats all this I keep herring about this thread becoming repetitive !!!

I know we are all a bit gobby but its only a joke.

How can anyone hake our fish puns ??

':lol:'

[Coding Monkey]

I flounder the same question myself

[Coding Monkey]

Oh, pollocks it's a bank holiday and no where is open. That's dep friend my chances of having my watch adjusted.