The best excuse for not being paid?

[Admiral Collections]

Hi

Obviously this is of great interest to me! Please let me know the best excuse you have heard for not being paid, bet I've heard them all!


Nic :wink:

[DuaneJackson]

"I did write a cheque but before I posted it a big credit card bill came in and I had to pay that"

OK, then can I take payment from you now on a credit card?

"Sorry, I dont have any credit cards"

[fastfences]

Hi Nic,
I'm sure you have heard'em all.

I have an £1800 debt at the moment. They don't just have one excuse, they try to roll about 5 into 1 to make it sound more devastating; you know: my client's waiting to sell his property, the bank won't advance him any more untill he's sold, my wife's stressing so much over this, and it's affecting my health.

I feel like saying 'Stiff sh**', I'm stressing pretty bad, I can't pay for my materials, my wife can't enjoy her usual lavish lifestyle and I'm bloody hungry.

'I'm sorry mate, I'll call you next week.' Yeah sure

cheers, Nigel

[Rob Holmes]

************************

Customer: I did post the cheque to you - looks like it got lost.

2 weeks later..

Yes I posted another - I checked and the've both been cashed.

My reply: ok well I'd better call the police then because someone is stealing cheques and cashing them.

Them (5 seconds later): oops no sorry those two actually haven't been cashed - can I send another?

Me: No

Them: Don't you want me as a customer?

**********************

Another customer.

I want to speak to the manager to make a complaint.

Me: Yes speaking how can I help

Them: You've turned my website off

Me: Oh dear - (Asks details) it looks like you haven't paid your bill sir

Them: Yes but you only invoiced me 2 months ago and you haven't even bothered chasing the money

Me: Switching your site off IS us chasing the money sir

Them: Oh - can I pay via credit card :)

***************************

I could go on forever....

Rob

[Admiral Collections]

The excuses you have heard are classic examples of the parasites who want something for nothing! Thanks for sharing them with me :lol:

ADVICE

Employ someone, or use an employee of yours, or if you haven't got an employee use a family member or friend to ring up as your credit controller.

As sales guys/women you plug the best side of your nature to get the sale which is cool. No-one wants to do business with an arrogant, horrible ****, however, debt chasing and sales DO NOT MIX. It's impossible. When I worked for other companies I was every salesmans nightmare. NO, I wouldn't increase credit limits, YES if their customers didn't pay I would sue.

For entertainment value these are some of the things I've heard from sales guys and my response.

Sales guy: Look Nic, he is a nice bloke. Really nice, he won't mess us about.

Me: Really so why is his account overdue then? I don't care if you go golfing with him at weekends and his missus is your wifes best mate, THE GUY DOESN'T PAY.


Sales guy: This guy is truly lovely, he is asian and he once brought a curry round for me and my wife as a prezzy when our baby was born, he wont let me down.

Me: I don't care if he owns the best restaurant in Bradford and as for not letting you down? Well maybe he doesn't as far as filling your stomach but it took him 3 months to pay 500 quid and you want me to supply 3,500 pounds worth of gear. NO

P.S Dont give your newborn baby a curry

Sales guy: Honest he is the nicest guy I have ever met.

Nic: Well I haven't met him, and looking at his account he ain't really that nice.

I could go on, but as sales people you would begin to hate me!

Nic :wink:

P.S Next time someone says the cheque is in the post, ask them when they sent it, what class they sent it, and as for the excuse that 2 have been cashed, my God who were you dealing with, that's brazen!

[Agri-Hire]

I work with farmers an they are the worst kind of payers.

"We are waiting for the Milk Cheque to arrive" is every dairy farmers excuse.

Then there was the one who said "I will pay you when you come to do the same job next year"

or how about "Bob used to like being paid at christmas, so I will do the same with you" (This is in May)

or "I can't afford to pay you yet as I have just spent £200,000 on a new combine, I am not made of money you know!"

or "I have never had a bank account and the money tin in the kitchen is empty, but I can write you a post dated cheque!"

but you do get the odd honest one:

"You will just have to join the queue and wait son"

All classics, all true.

[Jayne]

Only happened to me once, a couple ordered a wedding cake, paid a deposit. Later the woman came back to say she couldn't pay for the cake, as her husband to be had run off with someone else and he was going to pay...Then she asked if she could have the deposit back :lol:

Luckly I'd only baked the fruit cake, so I let her off and gave her deposit back. (Yes i'm soft, I know)

Think she'd had enough bad luck :lol:

Jayne

[Rob Holmes]

Heres another (now ex) client..

"When my tab (he didn't have one) gets up to £500 I'll stick a cheque in the post for a couple of hundred quid."

Rob

[clairemackaness]

My latest one is blaming it on her daughter being really really ill. So I sent her a paypal invoice and so far shes sent me 6 e-mails in as many weeks saying how ill her daughter is and she just hasn't had time. So I e-mailed back today and told her that a paypal payment takes 2 minutes and she must have spent closeto half an hour typing e-mails to me instead. The reply......."I'll put it in the post for you at the end of the week" yeah right!

[ink4-u]

well im very new to online business and dont have any. but i did have a fault in my ordering system earlier on and someone spotted it and took advantage. i wont tell you how they did it, but they placed an order and made it look like they had paid via paypal and they hadnt i decided i would login to paypal and check. and they hadnt they used my shop against itself. so i called them and said hello Sir Jay from ink4-u.co.uk he said who are you what do you want. i said you placed an order with us earlier on today, and it seems that the system forgotten to take your payment, he said well i have the paypal recipt. and i said well paypal are saying you havent paid, and i will have to report it to be investiagted, he paused for 30 seconds and then said sorry i remember i decided not to buy in the end please close my account!

i thought i will leave it there an say no more, i knew what he had done alright.

[SillyJokes]

The cheque bounced because we have got the builders in.

OK I can see how that works.. Builders not only doing up the office but also managing the accounts.

[www.sitepal.co.uk]

Hi

Obviously this is of great interest to me! Please let me know the best excuse you have heard for not being paid, bet I've heard them all!


Nic :wink:

from a wife....

sorry my husband cannot pay you as he had a operation on his willy a few months ago and things have been very hard lately.

[Admiral Collections]

Thanks to you all for responding to this :lol:

Thanks especially to Matrixx Hosting who really got into the swing of things by submitting 3 excuses.

The Farmers story was class. I particularly like the one where Bob was paid at Christmas and so should you be.

Tony, I just knew you would enter one with extra comedic value :D

Don't stop sending them, they are great


Nic :wink: