No reply = no manners? Email/pm etiquette!

[creospace]

With all the technology these days it's so easy to hide behind it and choose with even more precision who we do and don't interact with. I'd noticed recently how conditioned we have become to just ignore spam but in doing so apply the same ignorance to more genuine emails or private messages in the case of this forum.

Have we forgotten the courtesy of simply replying "sorry but no thanks" to those who are higher up the food chain than spammers? Especially as it only takes a few seconds!

I'm not sure how others feel but for me I think it's just pure ignorance and impolite not to have the courtesy to reply to someone who has taken genuine time to send an email.

And I’m not saying I’m perfect but I try and bare it mind because I know how annoying it is for me so I assume it is for others. And also this isn’t about handling rejection on my part its about manners and politeness on everyone’s part, a polite rejection is well received :)

What do others think? Would you ignore people from the same forum who you sort of know? Are there any excuses for not replying? Have we lost the art of polite communication?

Gary

[Whistle Ink]

I agree with you. I try and reply as soon as possible. Within 3 days at least - sometimes I do forget but I do always reply even if its a no thanks!

I have sent some pms to some people on here but they never replied back.

Anyway - these are not our kind of people and so you don't deal with them and if they pm'd me back I'd ignore them to be honest!!!!

[Rob Holmes]

<checks PM's to make sure I haven't ignored anyone accidently>

Yes I agree :)

But I guess sometimes people are busy - my apologies to anyone if I've missed anyones PM's - email works alot better for me.

Rob

[creospace]

I think maybe the worst case is when you offer free help and you don't get a reply, thats just pure ignorania.

I'd hate to see a society where we don't bother offering help becasue no one bothers saying thanks but no thanks when help isnt needed becasue thats where it's heading maybe?

I guess this is one thing that happens when technology is abused rather than used.

Thoughts?

[cjd]

I agree - if someone has helped, you really should say thank you and maybe say whether it worked or not.

There may be a technical reason tho'. Some other boards have a tab or link to 'your posts' so that you see just your own posts. Those which have been answered are highlighted so you go there first and reply; then read the new ones.

I'm new here so I may not have found a similar function yet!

[Jayne]

I 100% agree with you!

Manners cost nothing, you should always reply to emails etc. I even reply to people trying to spam me. Some of these people who have spammed me, are not bad people, just going about business in the wrong way. Behind the spam, sometimes you find a nice person :D

If the spam is bad or rude, that's the only time I ignore it!

Jayne

[Amber]

I do agree, but you also have to remember that not everyone has email notification of PMs switched on, so if they haven't been back at the site, or just haven't checked their PM box, they may not have noticed that there's a message waiting for them.

If they are aware of the message and have ignored it, of course, there is no excuse!

[William Wilson]

I find that a lot of emails are being swallowed up as spam I checked one my BTOpenworld account spam folders today there were over 700 no way would I attempt reading that lot. If I don't regonise a sender or sense it real it's in the bin.

I always try to reply to PM's quickly.

[Cornish Steve]

In this day and age, I have no problem with receiving no response; I simply take it as a 'no'. Sure, I'd rather that everyone was polite and sent an answer but, given the sheer volume of messages we receive daily, I understand if someone cannot.

Typically, I receive about 200 email messages every day, of which 95 percent are valid. If I answered every one, I would never get any work done.

I've helped many people behind the scenes at this forum, and less than half ever offered thanks. I don't call that ignorant; I call it pressured for time. It's not going to stop me from helping others in the future.

As for referring to those who fail to respond to emails as "not our type", this is a way of reducing your number of friends, acquaintances, and other contacts rather quickly. There's often a good reason why someone cannot respond. Why assume the worst and claim that they are just ignorant?

[creospace]

There are of course always good reasons why people don't respond but there are also people who just are impolite. Quick fire replies take a couple of seconds and are helpful in keeping contact open.

Take for instance a conversation we make gestures when listening like 'yes, no, i see, ok,' etc to let the other person know how we feel and gesture them to continue etc.

It's great that goldsteve is forgiving but I don’t think we should back down and assume that no reply is not interested and keep in the habit of firm replies like ' yes’ or even 'no sod off' a least its a reply just not a good one :)

The debate continues, I would really love to hear other feed back from people.

Gary

[creospace]

It's been interesting in response to this thread, some I guess read and think 'Rubbish' or 'I never do that' and maybe some thinking 'Man I hope I never do that'.

I was surprised by the pm's I got apologizing for not replying beforehand or just making sure I received something which was nice touch and not something I expected.

I guess I just wanted to raise awareness not particularly with this forum but more in general.

Cheers

Gary

[sparklyscotty]

Uh oh. I have to hang my head in shame here. I always sort my emails into folders when they come in, and I have a 'To Do' folder where I put emails that I need to reply to , but I might need to wait for something. For example, if someone says 'did this work for you?' I might need to wait till I have a decent amount of time to reply. Or if they say 'would you like ad space?' I might be waiting for better photography and need to look at my budget.
My big problem is... I don't realise the amout of time that has lapsed. I checked this folder recently and saw an email, and thought 'right, once I have printed new brochures I will answer that...' then I saw the date! Three months ago! Oo-er.
In my defence, I don't make excuses for myself. In the case of that old email, if I right back now, I am assuming that I have missed the boat and that they want nothing to do with me. My fault and they are completely within their rights.
This thread has inspired me to look at my inbox differently from now on.
-Angel-

[jen]

Hi,

Sorry for barging in. I hope I'm not the guilty one, I know sometimes we forget to reply asap but we do reply maybe just few days later, better late than never but we try to acknowledge everyone.

Gary i hope you did receive my private mail to say thank you for helping us (just checking) :D Gary helped us with our online forms.

That's all folks, ahh that's cleared my conscience. :)

[creospace]

Feel free to barge and yes I got your message thanks. Although I think maybe I asked about further questions with regard to mutually benefical assistance you may need?

PM me for more info, i'm interested in your project.

Gary

[jen]

Hi Gary,

I sent you a pm myself on Nove 15, it was a reply to your last mail but have not heard anything since.

Please send me a pm of what you have in mind and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

So it is me then the guilty culprit ...but I did acknowledge so nahh it wasnt me. :wink:

Look forward to hearing from you.

Jen