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MSOMedia
15th November 2005, 12:42
I received an e-mail this morning which made me laugh, so I thought I'd pass it on to you... If it's true, kudos to General Motors!

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Peace out,
-Mark

kyber
16th November 2005, 06:04
It is funny but is not recent, it must be at least a decade old.

Richard
16th November 2005, 06:55
It is funny but is not recent, it must be at least a decade old.The old ones are often the best. :wink:

You've only got to watch BBC Watchdog to see that some cars are beginning to develop 'microsoft' characteristics.

Remember the Ford Focus that would often cut out for no apparent reason?

I believe there were several instances where serious accidents ocurred, although Ford initially refused to accept any problem with the car.

Before that there were the Mondeos that kept pulling to the left. :?

Richard

dagr
16th November 2005, 08:53
This reminds of an old story that summed up the differences between hardware, systems and software engineers. Funny but true.

A hardware engineer, a systems engineer and a software engineer were driving on the dangerous, windy roads along the steep hills overlooking Monte Carlo. Suddenly, on a downhill stretch, the brakes went. Gathering speed, the driver somehow managed to pull over onto a side road. The engineers, scared and badly shaken, all got out of the car. Eventually they pondered what to do next.

The hardware engineer suggested they get out the toolkit, jack up the car and take it all to bits to see what caused the problem.

The systems engineer suggested they don't touch anything and call for a breakdown service.

The software engineer suggested they all get back in the car and continue on their way, waiting to see if the failure would repeat itself.

MSOMedia
16th November 2005, 08:54
How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb?


None. It's a hardware problem.

Stephen
16th November 2005, 09:17
Or...
How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't - they'll debug the old one first. ;)

Stephen
16th November 2005, 12:09
Or...
How many "real men" does it take to change a lightbulb?

None - real men aren't afraid of the dark!

(I'll keep telling these until someone laughs...)