Day one here

[JR]

Hi

This looks like a lively and interesting place to be. I have recently finished a large project for the police force in my area that allows them to contact members of the public using text messages and email. What makes it unique is that the public can respond with information they might have that could help solve a crime or find a missing person.

As a result of this project I have developed a customer aftercare product that allows a business to contact customers in numerous ways. As this is a new venture I am hoping to get some tips on how to market this to business. In return if you have any questions about anything I do that could be of assistance to you please just ask. I believe that I should give something back to the forum as I hope it will be of help to me.

John

[Rob Holmes]

Hi John,

Welcome to the forum :)

A quick tip (as requested above) - a visitor gives you about 5 - 7 seconds when they hit your site to decide if it's what they are looking for.

If they don't get a positive yes in that short amount of time they simply click the back button, go back to Google and look at the next listing down.

TBH Your site did not give me the reassurance I had found the solution to my need!

I have no doubt you have a good product but if people don't get a general understanding and benefit within 5 seconds your website sales will plummet.

Hope this helps :)

Rob

[JR]

Hi Rob

Thanks for your comments. What exactly were you looking for? It could be that I don’t actually provide that service. As with everything online it is subjective. In my mind the opening paragraph highlights the problem faced by businesses gives a price and a saving opportunity and then bullet points the benefits and savings a business can make.

That said I take your point and will give it some thought.

Thanks

John

[Ozzy]

Hi John,
I like the ball :)

Welcome to these forums and I hope you enjoy being here!

[JR]

Thanks

Something different :) I notice that you are using php live support - I have been looking at many options as I think it is an important feature. May I ask if your service is hosted or standalone and have you found it useful?

John

[Rob Holmes]

Hi John,

I'm unsure who you're asking ref the live support - if it's me then we host an application (because we are web hosts) - heres the link http://www.helpcentrelive.com/ we paid to upgrade and have some extras like the desktop applications and also customised the look and feel to our own website.

Ref the first paragraph of your site - maybe I just like sites that cut to the quick a little more..

IMHO the first paragraph needs to be a little more specific like...

Sell more products by keeping your company at the forefront of your customers minds with this simple to use, all in one Email, SMS, Surveys, Promotions and online competition management system.

(If thats what you do)

It's just my opinion but the sentence above says more to me personally than..

We can offer you bespoke or off the shelf solutions that automate your customer aftercare in a simple to use and cost effective way

For me it's turning the emphasis from what you can do to how they will benefit. (A few of my headlines took months to write, the one above is just a crude example)

Rob

[JR]

Hi Rob

My question was for Richard but thanks for the feedback and I will take a look at the helpdesk solution that you use also.

"Sell more products by keeping your company at the forefront of your customers minds with this simple to use, all in one Email, SMS, Surveys, Promotions and online competition management system."

Now thats a very good point and very well made. Just looking for my drawing board :) and thank you.

John

[barry.hynd]

Hi John,

I like the concept a great deal but i'm not sure you've convinced me as to the affordability of this to SME businesses. There are no cost indications on your site.

[Rob Holmes]

Just looking for my drawing board

oops - sorry - if it's any concellation I never put my own drawing board away and still regularily test and tweak my own sites.

Rob

[JR]

Hi John,

I like the concept a great deal but i'm not sure you've convinced me as to the affordability of this to SME businesses. There are no cost indications on your site.

Hi Barry

On the home page it says from £199 pa with at the moment a discount setup fee saving £99. However I am in the process of doing a list of all package prices. It is always difficult to know what the market value of something is but this is less than the cost of a local newspaper advert and gets you the system for a whole year which I would think was good value.

I clearly need to take some advice from Rob about the wording however as what I thought was clear is really not the case. There is a lesson in this for everyone I think about web site copy.

Thanks for your comments and can I just say that so far this is one of the more interactive and positive forums that I have been on. I think I will like it here and hope I can give something back as time goes on.

John

[Rob Holmes]

Your post was titled Day One.. I hope it was a good day for you :)

I had someone help me spice up my copy - he's Andrew Ludlam from Maverick Marketing Solutions (He's a member of this forum and a client of mine) I'm sure he can help you.

The copy he wrote for me is on http://www.ecust.co.uk and his website to contact him is http://www.mms-ltd.co.uk/

Rob

[JR]

Hi Rob

Yep a very good day :)

Raised more questions than answers but that’s a good thing. I have checked those links and find the style very American and very in your face. Now I am not saying that is wrong, but I wonder how it works with what tends to be a rather reserved UK audience. That said I subscribed and the information does make you think about how you are going about things, which is good. I think the one thing that does come from this is the need for a debate in the forum about what makes good web site copy and that it must consider the audience you are aiming at. So maybe that will be my first post as I now no longer feel like a newbie and it’s only day one 

Thanks

John

[Rob Holmes]

Hi John,

Definately, both are very American - and in your face!

I pitch ecust at the US market as it's a bigger market and get UK customers on the back of a weak Dollar rate.

After testing and testing (we've tried 6 different website designs pitched at UK, European and US customers) with different prices , different currencies etc this is currently the best.

Yes the UK market is typically a little more reserved and the important thing is that you write directly to your ideal customer!

Rob

[JR]

Yes the UK market is typically a little more reserved and the important thing is that you write directly to your ideal customer!

Now that’s a piece of good advice. I plan to read Andrews advice and have a rethink. I will let you know how I get on. My main concern at this point is that while the experts are telling businesses how important good customer service is how many actually realise that in the UK?

Example

Service alerts is an automated aftercare package for the Motor Trade. There is a major brand that has been promising customers exactly what it offers for months (coming soon). So I sent them an email outlining the service and three weeks later got a letter in the post (snail mail) saying they could not deal with my email (no attachments were in it) and suggesting that I contact Head Office by letter, this from customer services! You can take them to water but…

Still it’s early days so e shall see – thanks for the advice today I will be a frequent visitor from now on.

John

[SillyJokes]

I clearly need to take some advice from Rob about the wording however as what I thought was clear is really not the case. There is a lesson in this for everyone I think about web site copy.


It cannot be overstated how little people are prepared to read on the web and how very little time they are prepared to give a website. You opening paragraph states the bloomin' obvious, tells people things they already know (80:20 rule) and hides the true offer - the product and price.

Would suggest taking this boring looking block of text

Customer service is critical for any business. We can offer you bespoke or off the shelf solutions that automate your customer aftercare in a simple to use and cost effective way, as a rule of thumb 80% of income comes from 20% of your existing client base. We also provide communication and emergency solutions for public bodies like the police, councils and education. Personalised customer aftercare for your business from as little as £199 pa. Take advantage of our free set up offer - ends June,30th Save £99:00!


and turn it into something more like this:

Your customer care problems eased, simple as that.

Are you a business - click here to start from as little as £199 PA

Are you a public body? - click here to find out how we are already helping the police cut costs and improve results.

At the moment your website looks like some sort of MLM scam with it's blue sky animation and unspecific yet promising URL.

Yes, it's a great URL, but is it the best one for what you are doing?

I would have thought something more sedate and professional would be better.

As for asking the ball....... I surf with sound off and many people do because most websites use sound in a bad way. I'm not prepared to turn on my speakers for this but now I'm wondering if I'm missing some vital info that I can't get by reading the site.

Any hoo, I hope these comments help. I think you are so close to your business and site that it is hard sometimes to take a step back and accept that to fresh eyes what seems obvious to you is confusing, over awing and confusing.

[JR]

Hi

You might be right when you say that I am to close to my business - I have been thinking that as the day has gone on and comments have come in. One of the best bits of advice I have had that has made me think is from Rob

"Yes the UK market is typically a little more reserved and the important thing is that you write directly to your ideal customer! "


This is also true I think

"You opening paragraph states the bloomin' obvious, tells people things they already know (80:20 rule) and hides the true offer - the product and price."

One thing is clear everyone has there own opinion and I am happy to listen and take the bits that work for me. The only point that I would make is that with a shop or hosting it's pretty straight forward. With customer service I feel an explination of some sort, and I am not saying that mine at this time is right here, needs to be given.

The defence rests at this time, but reserves the right to ask more questions at a later time :)

John

[Amber]

Hi John,

If you need any advice\re: coywriting, feel free to give me a shout :-) It can be difficult to balance the need to give enough relevant information to answer people's questions and persuade them to take the next step, with giving so much information that they don't bother reading it.

Sometimes I find it helful to have a small amount of text which really spells out what the proposition is, with a link to a frequently asked questions page (which can allow the reader to quickly scan for the information they need). It's also a good idea to break any text up into small chunks, with clear headings - again so that the reader can scan the page and very quickly find the information they're looking for.

Definitely agree that writing for the US market is very different: they're used to that "in your face" kind of style, whereas the UK market can find it a little off-putting.

Good luck with it all!

[Srivvy]

Hi John

Another point I would add is that if your site was to be found via a search engine, your page title (in the blue bar at the top of the page) is very important.

It is this information that stands out in the search engine results and that visitors click on to go to your site.

This title needs to be very snappy - under around 10 words - and should very quickly summarise exactly what you offer. It does not need to use full sentences or give a full explanation, but must interest the reader enough to click and learn more.

I hope this is of help.

Srivvy

[Webstuff]

at current the titles spelled wrong. From the spelling it reads more like "fatal" ;)

[JR]

Both good points I will look at that and the spelling :oops:

Thanks :)

[CG Effect]

Im still waiting for the logo to pop out of the clouds. Is their one?

[epiphany]

If you are optimizing your site for a particular keyword then it is essential that be in the title.